Football Newsletter Week 1

Posted on September 8, 2007 
Filed Under SPORTS

Opening Weekend

WHOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s football season!!!  The season has just started and already we’ve got fireworks.  In the colleges, football history was made last week when #5 Michigan was defeated at home by Division 1-AA Appalachian State.  Kudos to Appy State, although this is not the mega-upset the pinhead-media is making it out to be.  Appy State is the two-time defending champion of Division 1-AA.  While these schools are very much smaller than the major schools like Michigan, they do have athletes, and they also have speed, something Michigan sorely lacks.  Many forget in the late 1990’s, Marshall was a Division 1-AA school.  That was a Marshall team with Chad Pennington and Randy Moss.  The year they went into 1-A, they went to Motor City Bowl in Detroit, so it’s not like these top of the line Division 1-AA schools are complete stumblebums.
 
Now, that being said, what the hell is up, Michigan?  Yes, it makes this Ohio State alum joyful to see those perennially overrated bums fall on their faces, but this is getting boring.  Plus its hurting the conference.  Ohio State will not be able to beat the USC’s, Florida’s, and LSU’s of the world, if the level of competition in the Big Ten doesn’t improve.  Michigan keeping Lloyd Carr on as coach is a joke.  What is it now, five losses to Ohio State?  When was the last bowl game he won?  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I hate stupidity.  Take it from me, Michigan:  Dump this guy.  Everyone told us that we’d be crazy to get rid of bonehead John Cooper (career record vs. Michigan 2-10-1).  Then we finally did it, and now we have Jim Tressel (career record vs. Michigan 5-1, one National Championship).  Dump him, we’ll all be better off.

But now let’s make some predictions!  In football season, I am no longer trucking safety consultant extraordinaire Eric Arnold.  I am The Big E!  And the Big E is a premier handicapper.  For entertainment purposes only, at this stage of his career, however.  It occurred to me about seven years ago I could make more money in stock market than I could with my bookie Guido.

Nevertheless, let’s get it started.  We offer two types of selections.  One is the run-of-the-mill pick, which usually just something to take up space and pass the time.  We have middling confidence in these picks.  The second is the BESTBET!!!!  These are the ones in which we have complete confidence, and would bet boatloads of money, if we still did that sort of thing.  (At one point, at the urging of Joe Salamy, we called them BIG E BETS, but we were losing at an alarming rate under that name, so we quickly switched it back).
 
MICHIGAN –8 over Oregon
Losing last week was embarrassing, but Michigan is still a very powerful team.  If idiot Lloyd Carr goes to what the Wolverines do best, which is run Mike Hart, they should easily beat Oregon.  A red-faced Michigan starts the long road back on Saturday.

HOUSTON –3 over kansas city
The Big E is bullish on Matt Schaub as quarterback, and we think Houston will be a hidden jewel this year against the number.  He will be a dramatic improvement over David Carr, who is headed on the Tim Couch Train out of the league.  KC, on the other hand, has no solution at quarterback, with two journeymen manning the position.  Larry Johnson will be the only hope KC has, and that won’t be enough.  Houston cruises.

ST LOUIS –1 over carolina
The Big E saw Carolina play in the preseason, and they were L-O-U-S-Y.  We think that St. Louis is poised for a big year, with a premier quarterback and running back leading the way.  We’re not sure that Carolina has a premier anything.  Only laying one point at home, that looks like a gift.  Take it, and bet it.

There are no BESTBETs this week.

You may fire when ready, Gridley!

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