The Worst Handicapper in the World!!

Posted on November 3, 2007 
Filed Under POLITICS, SPORTS

Well, our record is now 6-10 for NFL games, 1-4 in BESTBETS, as all the games lost.  Convincingly.  Not even close.  Well, the Redskins made it close at the end, by scoring that touchdown, so it was 52-7, instead of 52-0.  Why even make the effort, 52-0 says so much more about what a pathetic effort it was.

Well, we give up.  No point in beating the head against the wall, it’s clear we have no idea about who’s going to win or lose.  This week, we will have someone else pick the games.  This week’s guest handicapper is Squeaky the Cat.  We lined up a number of cat treats, numbered them, and whichever ones the cat ate first, those are his picks.  You could say he picked all the teams, since Squeaky ate all the treats, but the first 3 he ate are his picks.  Without further ado, Squeaky’s picks:

ATLANTA -3 over san francisco    I had to look up who the Falcons were playing, who cares about these two teams?  Anyway, Squeaky likes the Falcons.

INDIANAPOLIS +6 over new england     Well, you screwed up there Squeaky, nobody can beat the Patriots

BESTBETBESTBETBESTBETBESTBETBESTBET

dallas -3 over PHILADELPHIA       We’re listing this as a BESTBET, because Squeaky really ate the Dallas treat with enthusiasm.  Well, Squeaky has sat there and watched a number of Eagles games with us this year, so he knows they suck, just like we do.  Did you see that Andy Reid’s drug addict kid smuggled 89 pills into jail with him up his rearend?  Nice.  Andy Reid brings that same sense of duty and discipline to the sidelines…..

In other news, Hillary Clinton finally took a small stumble in a debate, as she is unwilling to answer whether or not she supports giving driver’s licenses to illegal aliens.  Since the Senator wants to have both sides of the issue, let us tell you what her real position is.  Of course she supports driver’s license to illegals, 100%!  Because all those illegals with licenses, means they can all vote.  All you need to vote is a driver’s license.  Oh sure, you’re breaking some kind of law…  but these are illegals!  Laws, schmaws.  Laws are for suckers, right Hillary?  She just can’t let you know she supports it, as 80% of Americans do not support license for illegals. 

Then after everybody called her on her pathetic answer, she broke out the victim card.  “The Politics of Piling-On”, they had on her website the next day.  But that’s Hillary for you, a victim.  “Bill cheats on me, I’m a victim”.  “Ken Starr made me answer why those missing billing records were in my bedroom, I’m a victim”.  “Tim Russert asked me a follow-up question, I’m a victim……….WAAAAAAAAHHH!”  God forbid this woman wins, I want a Commander-in-Chief, not a Victim-in-Chief.

And now, I’m off to the Pike Cafe, as the powers that be will not be showing the Ohio State – Wisconsin game on regular TV.  Undoubtably I can watch Rutgers-UConn, or maybe even Temple, or Ursinus or Kutztown, but not Ohio State.  Well, what the hell, we’re only the #1 team in the country…… 

It’s Squeaky’s week to shine!  Go Squeaky!  Go Bucks!

Big E

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